I often hear from couples how one partner shares their pain over something the other partner did or didn’t do, and how poorly their repairs go, leaving both feeling unsatisfied about their efforts to re-connect. I also hear from frustrated partners who are confused because their effort at apologizing fell flat. This post addresses some general guidelines for making an apology or amends. Listen The first part of repairing a rupture is to listen. Listen to the effects that you

Keri and Bart have been married for 13 years and have a son and a daughter. Bart has had a relationship with alcohol for as long as Keri has known him, but over the years, his intake has increased to the point that he drinks excessively about four nights a week and only slightly less most other nights. He’s not emotionally present, and often not physically present, instead in his workshop for the evening as soon as dinner is over, leaving Keri to help their kids with homewor